Neville Longbottom and the Green Monster
by Ammarine
Summary: One-Shot. Neville is a victim, a victim of unrequited love. Find out what he does when his judgement is clouded by a green monster, otherwise known as jealousy. Please read & review!


**Neville Longbottom and the green monster**

My name is Neville Longbottom and I have a problem. It started about six months ago.

You see, I'm really bad at making potions and Professor Snape, the Potions master, he hates me. He always insults me and so, whenever I'm even in his presence, I screw up. I screw up so badly that I add ingredients at the wrong time or the wrong ingredients in general. I broke the record of most cauldrons destroyed four weeks into my first year. It's my worst subject ever. Or was, until I got help.

My help came in the form of Hermione Granger, the smartest person in my year, and a Gryffindor, like myself. When she helped me out, she never made me feel stupid, or dumb. After the incident with her teeth earlier in our 4th year, she was actually quite attractive. But I had competition. Her two best friends, Ronald Weasley; a red-haired pain in the neck; and the famous Harry Potter, the mighty warrior. How can I compete with them? Potter outstrips me by far...

To get Hermione's attention, I started giving her small things, a fine quill, or a nice photo frame, under the pretense of thanking her for her help. They didn't work. So, when the next Hogsmeade weekend rolled around, I asked her to go with me. She said "Sure Neville, that would be fun." It would have been fun for me too if Harry and Ron had decided not to join us, and then pretend I wasn't there. They even ran off, just the three of them, after a mangy dog. That was the ultimate insult. To think that she would prefer spending time with a flea-ridden stray than me was unbearable. As a result, I refused to listen to Hermione during our next Potions class. It was one of the worst potions lesson ever, but I didn't care. I wasn't about to let them get away with what they did.

The only problem was that ignoring them wasn't enough. I tried flirting with Ginny, Weasley's little sister, to make Hermione and Potter jealous, and to irritate Weasley. It failed miserably. What I really wanted, what I _needed_ was revenge on Potter and Weasley. It started with 'accidentally' knocking Potter's bag off in the hall, the impact smashing his ink wells and ruining his books. However, soon that wasn't enough either. I moved to sabotaging Weasley's cauldron in Potions class. It was only too easy to weaken it enough to disintegrate; Merlin knows I've gone through enough of them myself to know what to do. Hermione only saw these as someone disliking her friends. I needed something big. Something to get those two once and for all, but making me look good in front of Hermione. Most importantly, they couldn't find out I was involved.

Shortly after the Yule Ball, I had my chance. Late one evening, whilst trying to sleep, I heard rustling movements, as though someone was putting on a cloak. Opening my eyes to slits, I looked around the room. No-one was there. Thinking I had imagined it all I closed my eyes and rolled over. Seconds later I heard the door creak open and the slid shut. Someone was there, or now wasn't there as the case may be. I looked around at the other beds in the dormitory, and sure enough, Potter's bed was empty, but unmade. Potter had just gotten out of bed to go traipsing around the castle in his pajamas! My first thought was that I had to stop him. If he got caught, Gryffindor would lose points and no-one would think of Potter getting another detention. However...

However, there was one person, I knew would be simply delighted to find a Potter sneaking about the castle, Merlin knows he mentioned it enough times. I knew what to do. Grabbing a quill and parchment, I wrote Professor Snape an anonymous note, stating that Potter was loose in the castle, being careful to do it with my left hand, hoping he wouldn't recognise my writing. Then came the problem. How was I going to get it sent without leaving the Gryffindor Tower myself? As though in answer to my question, a furry bullet hit me in the shoulder. It was Ron's miniature owl, Pig. Perfect. I attached the note to Pig and tossed him out the window so he could fly to Snape's window. I went back to bed, and tried to sleep, but couldn't. I knew it wouldn't be possible until I had found out what happened. About half an hour later, He returned, a cloak stuffed under one arm and a hand clutching his Champion's gold egg in his hand. He looked deep in thought as he got into his bed and almost instantaneously feel asleep. The fact that he wasn't worried, told me my plan didn't quite work

The next few weeks went rather quickly, and before long, the snow surrounding the castle began to recede. We were finally able to restart Herbology. The lessons ran rather smoothly until Professor Sprout began teaching the class about the Wandering Water-Weed. I began to tune out, having already learnt about it from a book that Professor Moody lent me at the beginning of the year; _Magical Mediterranean Water-Plants and Their Properties_.

Whilst my mind was drifting, it came upon a plan. I had to be careful, though. If it went wrong, there would be serious trouble. Snapping out of my reverie, Professor Sprout was instructing the class to separate into pairs, in the interest of safety. I was paired with Ernie Macmillan, of Hufflepuff. I didn't mind that, as he was prone to spending an entire lesson chattering away, I could pretend to be listening whilst carrying out my plan.

We were 2 benches down from Ron and Harry; Hermione was partnered with HannahAbbott, also from Hufflepuff. I discretely cut of a stem of the Wandering Water-Weed, letting it feel the damp warmth of my palm making it hungry for warmth, but stopping it from latching on. Instead, I placed it on the ground and lured towards Potter and Weasley, with a warm damp stream of magic from my wand. Eventually, it reached Weasley's shoe. From there it sensed Weasley's body heat and made itself comfortable. Now I could relax. The hard part was done.

Within minutes, Weasley found he was rather itchy in some not so pleasant places, and was squirming around trying to stop the itching without scratching himself. It wasn't going to happen. Professor Sprout noticed and instantly knew what had happened.

"Weasley!" She shrieked. "Go to the Quidditch Showers and have a cold shower, a very cold shower, immediately. This is what happens if you are not careful around these plants. It is trying to latch onto your skin in the areas where there is the most warmth-Weasley, when I say go, I don't not mean for you to stand there dumbfounded!" This last statement of Professor Sprout's rattled the Greenhouse windows, and the rest of the class, started. Weasley almost flew across to the Quidditch Showers, those being the closest to the Greenhouses, with Harry barely a step behind.

I assumed that the plant was removed in time, as both Potter and Weasley were sitting quietly in a darkened corner of the Common Room that night. Weasley still squirmed occasionally, much to my amusement. Nevertheless, I knew it had finished. Somehow I had a feeling that neither one of the three of us would be with Hermione, so I promised myself that my green monster would not come out again, well in a hurry at any rate.

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**A/N:** Thanks to everyone who got this far, it really means a lot. Please review! Thanks to Silverfox for the revenge in Herbology idea!!


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